The Demon Within
by Klitch
Summary: Zel finds an unexpected cure with an unexpected price.
1. Default Chapter Title

"The Demon Within"  
  
Author's Note: I haven't seen past the first Slayers TV season yet, so some  
characters from the series won't appear in this fic, and there may be some inconsistencies.   
Just warning you.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't know who owns Slayers, but it's not me. Whoever you are,  
don't sue me.  
  
Stars * * designate thoughts.  
  
  
"It's quiet," Lina Inverse whispered to her companions as they softly made their  
way through the bushes. "Too quiet for a monster to be around." She strained her ears,  
listening for the slightest rustle of leaves.  
  
"Lina, I'm bored!" Gourry's voice made her jump several feet in the air. She  
whirled and fixed the blond swordsman with her death glare.  
  
"You scared me, jellyfish brain!" Immediately, Lina began pounding Gourry for  
his stupidity.  
  
"Ow! You really shouldn't--ouch! That hurt! Ow!"  
  
"You think that hurt? What about this?!"  
  
"Ow! Yes!"  
  
"Uh....Ms.Lina?" Amelia ventured nervously, sweatdropping. "Ms.Lina? Don't  
you think you might be scaring away the monster? We can't fight for justice against it if  
you scare it away."  
  
Lina turned her death glare on Amelia, who immediately shrunk back against  
Zelgadis. He stared darkly at the entire group.  
  
"I can't believe I agreed to this," he grumbled, moving away. "I'm leaving. I still  
need to find my cure, and I won't get any further in doing so by capturing a rouge  
monster."  
  
"Don't go, Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia pleaded. "Don't you want to fight for justice  
with us?"  
  
"I have better things to do than this," Zel grumbled, stepping out of the bushes.  
  
From behind him came a guttural growl, and suddenly a black streak was upon  
him. Zel was thrown to the ground. He rolled onto his back and was suddenly pinned to  
the ground by a clawed, fanged monster with a glowing red jewel in its forehead. Its  
curved incisors formed what might have been a smile as it slammed its claws against his  
neck, obviously intending to rip his throat out. Zelgadis smiled grimly as the creature's  
claws raked harmlessly at his stone skin. Then there came a cry from nearby.  
  
"Fireball!" A flaming red ball flew towards the monster. It dived off of Zelgadis,  
throwing itself to one side. Zel sat up and glanced over at Lina, who was preparing for  
another fireball even as Gourry unsheathed his sword. Amelia glanced over at Zel and  
started to run towards him.  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, are you all--" She was cut off as the monster, sensing easier prey,  
dived at her, throwing her to the ground. Its claws dug into her arms, and it looked  
pleased when red blood flowed out. Its claws moved for her throat even as Amelia  
struggled to move her arms and call up a spell.  
  
"Flare arrow!" Zelgadis's spell attack hit the monster in the side. It fell off of   
Amelia, then propped itself up on one misshapen limb, its red eyes glowing in anger as it  
stared at Zel.  
  
"Freeze arrow!" Lina launched another spell attack at it. This time the monster  
dodged too slow, and one of its clawed hands was impaled by the spear. Before it could  
try to attack Lina, Gourry brought his sword down by its neck. The monster managed to  
get away just before the swordsman could decapitate it. With an angry hiss, the creature  
sped off into the woods with supernatural speed.  
  
"We can't let it get away!" Lina said even as she knelt next to Amelia, checking   
the girl's wounds.  
  
"Keep an eye on her!" Zel ordered, then used his own demon speed to follow the  
monster.  
  
"Zel, wait!" He ignored Lina's cry as he sped through the forest, following the  
blood trail left by the creature. He slowed as he neared a creek. Carefully peering through  
the bushes, he saw the monster leaning over the water, drinking deep. Its green-black  
blood stained the leaves beneath it. Smiling grimly, Zel reached down for his sword.  
  
The monster looked up as Zel took his sword from its scabbard. It hissed as the  
chimera advanced, sword drawn. It crouched, preparing to spring. Zelgadis smiled.  
  
"No chance," he stated grimly, even as the creature attacked.   
  
Its weight was more than Zelgadis had anticipated, and he was forced to the  
ground. The creature scratched at his stone skin, leaning most of its weight on Zelgadis's  
sword arm, obviously trying to force him to drop the sword. Zelgadis reached up with his  
free hand and hit the creature hard in its already injured side. The monster's green-black  
blood streamed down Zel's arm, but the chimera ignored it. The creature staggered,  
sliding off Zel.   
  
"Fireball!" The fireball hit the monster in the legs, causing it to topple to the  
ground. Zel moved forward slowly, deliberately, bringing up his sword as he advanced.   
  
The monster made one last-ditch effort to escape. Zel caught it effortlessly,  
holding it back with his bare hands. The monster screamed in irritation as its teeth and  
claws raked harmlessly at Zel's smooth skin. Its blood poured down onto Zelgadis's  
body. The chimera swung his sword once. It bit deep into the monster's neck, then easily  
severed the head from the body. More blood washed over Zel as the creature fell over  
dead.  
  
Zelgadis pulled back with a disgusted look on his face. His entire body was sticky  
with the monster's blood. He tried to wipe it off, but to no avail--his hands were just as  
dirty as the rest of him. Suddenly, the creature's blood began to pulse and glow with a hot  
green light. Zelgadis cried out in pain as it burned into his skin, searing his stone flesh.  
His head spun with pain, and he fell to his knees. It felt as if he was being pulled apart  
and burned to death at the same time. His eyes closed, and he blacked out.  
  
He came to only a few minutes later, his head still spinning. His eyes opened  
slightly, then closed immediately as the light hurt them. He was aware that there was  
something wrong with him, but he wasn't sure what. That was when he felt claws at his  
throat.  
  
*The monster?* he wondered dizzily. *That's impossible, I severed its head...*  
  
That was all he had time to think before the claws pierced his flesh, making him  
gasp. He was vaguely aware that the monster shouldn't have been able to harm him, that  
he shouldn't be in pain at all, but everything was drowned out by the agony and the blood  
pouring down his neck. Before he blacked out once more, he was, strangely, aware of  
someone kissing his forehead and promising him that death would be sweet....   
  
***  
  
"Hey! Hey, are you all right?" The words forced their way through the fog that  
covered Zel's brain. He knew that voice, yet he couldn't place it. Everything was waves  
and stars, and the haze in his brain made it hard to think. He struggled with his memory,  
trying to recall what he had been doing and why he was lying on his back with strange,  
dark shapes hovering over him, talking to him.  
  
*I remember....Lina. That's Lina's voice.* One mystery solved. The clouds in Zel's  
mind were slowly parting as rational thought broke through. *We were hunting a monster  
...it attacked Amelia and I chased it...cut off its head....got covered in blood...then? Then  
what? He couldn't recall, his head was still spinning. Everything was upside down and  
filled with perfumed haze. I remember...or think I remember....a kiss. And a promise of  
death...*  
  
His eyes snapped open in sudden fear. He tried to sit upright, but the moment he  
did the world spun before his eyes. Lina appeared before him, forcing him to lie back  
down on the soft bed.  
  
"L-Lina...?" Zel was surprised to hear his voice. It was thin and hoarse, and only  
then did he notice how dry his throat was. Gathering his memories again, he ventured a  
hesitant question. "Amelia? Is she okay?"  
  
"You know Amelia?" Lina sounded surprised, which confused Zelgadis. Of course   
he knew Amelia! What was wrong with her?  
  
"Lina? Don't you know me?" Zel questioned.  
  
"You know me too, huh?" Lina stared intensely at him. "Why don't you tell us  
who you are, so we'll be on equal ground? And then maybe you can tell us if you've seen  
a friend of ours who disappeared into the woods. You had his sword near you when we  
found you."  
  
"Lina, don't you recognize..." Suddenly, Zelgadis touched his face and gasped. He  
felt smooth skin. Not stone. Skin. Glancing down at his trembling hands, he saw that  
they, too, were made of human flesh. An impossible hope rose in his throat. "No..." he  
whispered, barely able to believe it. Suddenly, he swung his feet over the edge of the bed  
and stood, swaying weakly.  
  
"Hey, wait a sec, you should stay in bed--" Lina moved to stop him, but he  
staggered away from her towards the mirror on the wall. He stared at his reflection, wide-  
eyed with disbelief.   
  
"I--I'm--" Zelgadis tried to speak but words failed him. A slow smile crept onto  
his face. He wanted to yell for joy, but his throat was too dry. He heard Lina behind him  
and whirled to face her, still smiling like a madman.  
  
"Hey, are you okay?" Lina looked at him nervously.  
  
"Lina..." Zel shook his head. "It's me. Zelgadis. I'm.....I'm cured!" He touched  
his face again, reveling in the forgotten feeling of his own skin.  
  
"Zel?" Lina seemed torn between amazement and disbelief. "That's....that can't  
be you!" She moved forward, one hand outstretched as if to touch his face.  
  
"It is me. The me before Rezo cursed me." Zel turned away again, staring at his  
reflection once more. His human face smiled back at him, and Zelgadis felt light-headed  
and giddy with joy. After all this time, he was finally human again.  
  
"I-I can't believe it." Lina moved to stand beside him. "How did it happen?"  
  
"I don't know, I--" Zel suddenly swayed as memory assaulted him. Unfeeling  
claws, cold like steel, tearing into his throat....warm blood flowing down his neck....and a  
kiss. The kiss stood out in his mind. The kiss and the promise that went with it.  
  
As if sensing Zel's sudden weakness, Lina steadied him and led him to a nearby   
chair. He collapsed into it, putting his hands to his head.  
  
"I--I remember fighting the monster," Zel told her in a low voice. "I got covered  
in the thing's blood, but I managed to chop its head off."  
  
"We know," Lina said. "Gourry, Amelia and I found its body near yours by the  
creek. But you were hurt. Your throat..."  
  
Zelgadis's hands wandered unconsciously up to his neck. The flesh was smooth  
and unmarred, so he knew that Lina or Amelia had used a healing spell on him.  
  
"The creature didn't do that," Zel said. He closed his eyes as memory washed  
over him. "After I killed it, I tried to wash off its blood. But it started to burn, and I felt it  
even through my stone skin. It felt like I was coming apart." His eyes opened with sudden  
understanding. "The monster's blood! Of course! That's what cured me!"  
  
"Then how were you wounded?" Lina asked. "Your throat was torn something  
awful. Amelia and I had to combine our energy to heal it and get the blood out of your  
lungs."  
  
"I don't know what attacked me," Zel said honestly. "I must have blacked out  
when the transformation occurred. When I woke up, the light hurt my eyes, so I kept  
them closed. Then something attacked me. I don't know what." He shuddered at the  
memory. "I remember its claws at my throat, tearing at my neck. And....it's strange, but I  
remember, or think I remember, someone kissing my forehead and telling me death  
would be sweet. The voice was strange. I recognized it, but at the same time I didn't. I  
don't know what it was."  
  
"When we found you, there was no sign of anything but the battle between you  
and the monster," Lina said. "We thought that you were some kid who had gotten caught  
in the aftermath of the battle. I had Amelia take you back to this inn to get healed while  
Gourry and I looked for....well, for you. We thought you might have been dragged off or  
something, then decided that maybe you left to look for your cure and didn't feel like  
saying good-bye. We thought that when you woke up, you could tell us where, uh, where  
you went? This is kinda hard to explain."  
  
"I can't blame you for not recognizing me," Zel admitted. "I barely recognized  
myself at first. It's been so long since...." He stopped, overcome by emotions. Lina  
regarded him intently for a moment, then dragged him to his feet.  
  
"Come on," she said with a wide smile. "Let's go downstairs and show your new  
look off to Amelia and Gourry. I'm sure Amelia will be very impressed." She grinned  
mischievously at Zel's suddenly worried look. "And then we can get something to eat.  
The innkeeper's giving us free food for killing the monster, and since you're the one who  
killed it, you deserve some of the munchies."  
  
"All right." Reluctantly, Zel allowed Lina to drag him downstairs. Amelia and  
Gourry were sitting at a table in the dining room, waiting for Lina. She wove her way  
through the crowd to their table, dragging Zelgadis behind her.  
  
"Hi Ms.Lina!" Amelia waved brightly.  
  
"Can we order now?" Gourry complained.  
  
"First, I have an introduction to make." Lina pushed Zel in front of her. "Gourry,  
Amelia, meet the new, improved Zelgadis Graywords. In the flesh."  
  
"Zelgadis?!" Amelia stared at him in open-mouthed shock. "You're...you're..."  
  
"Really dirty!" Gourry finished for her, and the other three facevaulted. Lina   
groaned and shook her head.  
  
"He's human again, idiot!" she yelled at him.  
  
"Oh. That too," Gourry said. Lina growled at him and waved over a waitress. She  
motioned for Zel to sit as she ordered several portions of everything on the menu.  
  
Zel sighed and sat down. Glancing at his cloak, he saw that Gourry was right. The  
once-white fabric was now dark with mud and blood stains.  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, is that really you?" Amelia touched his face in wonder. "You're  
not stone anymore! I'm so happy for you!" She threw her arms around his neck and  
hugged him so tightly that it took him a few minutes to pry her off.  
  
"Um...thank you, Amelia," he said, coughing in embarrassment.   
  
"How'd it happen?" Amelia asked.  
  
"Monster blood," Zel said succinctly, not really in the mood to talk. In truth, he  
had just noticed how hungry he was. As a chimera, he had not needed as much food as he  
had as a human, and it seemed as if his body was ready to catch up on all those missed  
meals.  
  
Several waitresses showed up and covered the table with as much food as it could  
hold. Immediately, Gourry and Lina attacked and started eating everything in sight.  
Amelia and Zel had to hurry to grab some food for themselves before it was snatched up  
by the sorceress and swordsman.  
  
"Wow, you're actually eating!" Amelia said to Zelgadis in surprise.  
  
"Being human makes you hungry," Zel said with a shrug. "I never needed much  
nourishment as a chimera, but now....well, I suppose all the excitement has made me  
hungry." He smiled to himself. He had missed even the simple sensation of hunger.  
  
Lina and Gourry were on their fourth helping of everything when a woman  
suddenly burst into the inn, screaming and crying.  
  
"Demon! Please, somebody help me! A demon has attacked us!"   
  
Lina and company exchanged glances.  
  
"Don't worry," Lina said, standing up and facing the woman. "Zel killed the  
monster earlier today."  
  
"Impossible!" The woman shook her head. "I just saw it! It destroyed my  
husband's butcher shop and killed him!"  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, are you sure you killed it?" Amelia asked. Immediately, everyone  
in the room looked at Zelgadis, who squirmed under their scrutiny, even as he silently  
reminded himself that he was human and had nothing to fear from their gaze.  
  
"I cut off its head," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. He glanced at Lina, Amelia  
and Gourry. "You three saw its corpse yourselves."  
  
"Could it have regenerated, Ms. Lina?" Amelia suggested.  
  
"I guess," Lina said thoughtfully. "But that seems kinda weird. I mean, its head  
was off. And it was a regular monster, not a Mazoku, so the head-chopping thing should  
have killed it. Regular monsters aren't much different from trolls and the like, and even a  
troll gets killed when you cut its head off."  
  
"Maybe it's another monster," Gourry said off-handedly. Everyone exchanged  
glances.  
  
"A dim bulb brightens," Zel muttered.  
  
"Why didn't we think of that?" Lina wondered.  
  
"Think of what?" Gourry asked. Lina slapped her forehead in frustration.  
  
"This monster could be the other one's mate," Amelia suggested. "Maybe it's  
mad that Mr. Zelgadis killed its boyfriend--or girlfriend--and it attacked him, and now  
it's coming after him to exact its own perverted, evil monster-type justice."  
  
"Then why didn't it kill Zel by the creek?" Lina stated.  
  
"Maybe it thought he was dead?" Amelia shrugged.  
  
"Whatever it is, we may as well stop it," Zelgadis said, rising. "I'll go get my  
sword."  
  
"We'll wait for you down here," Lina said, and went to ask the woman for  
directions to her shop.  
  
Zel walked up the steps and went to the room where he had awakened earlier. His  
sword was leaning against the wall, still covered in dried demon blood. He clasped the  
scabbard, ready to hook it onto his belt like usual.  
  
And was shocked when its weight practically dragged him to the ground. Zel  
stared at it in surprise. As a chimera, the sword hadn't felt heavy at all. Now it was  
almost too heavy.  
  
"If I can't carry the scabbard, perhaps I should just carry the sword," Zel decided.  
He drew his sword, only to find that it too was heavy. He could lift it, but the blade  
wobbled and his arms trembled with effort. No longer could he wield it with the fluid  
ease he had used before.  
  
"Dammit!" Zelgadis cursed bitterly as he dropped the sword. He sunk down into a  
chair, sighing. He stared at his human hands. "I am finally human....but I'm the same  
weakling I was before Rezo changed me. I can't even lift my own sword." He face  
twisted in an expression of self disgust as he stood. He had told Lina and the others that  
he would help them, so help them he would. All he needed was a lighter sword.  
  
"Zel?" Lina was surprised to see Zel stomping down the steps in foul humor.  
"What's wrong? Where's your sword?"  
  
"I need a new one," Zel muttered as he swept past her. "That one's too heavy. Go  
on without me. I'll catch up."  
  
"Zel! Wait!" Lina started to follow him, but he was already out the door.  
  
"I'll catch up!" he called as he strode quickly down the street towards the nearest  
weapons shop.  
  
Lina sighed and turned to Gourry and Amelia.  
  
"You heard him," she said. "Let's go."  
  
While Lina, Gourry, and Amelia made their way towards the butcher shop,  
Zelgadis wandered through the streets, looking for a place to buy a sword. When he had  
first stepped outside, he had nearly pulled on his hood out of habit., but had stopped  
himself before he could. Even though he was human now, it still felt odd to walk through  
the streets unhooded, where everyone could look upon him. It was strange not to be  
stared at. As much as he had always loathed those stares, it was an odd feeling to finally  
be no more than a face in the crowd.  
  
He was passing by an old, run-down building when a shadow flitted by just in  
Zelgadis's peripheral vision. Zel whirled, looking around for whatever it had been that he  
saw. The streets behind him were filled with people going about their everyday business.  
Zel scanned the crowd, then looked away.   
  
*Probably just a cat,* he thought. *I'm so used to being noticed that anonymity is   
making me jumpy.*  
  
That was when something dived at him from a nearby alleyway. Zel might have  
been able to dodge it as a chimera, but without his demon speed and strength, he was  
easily pulled off the streets and dragged into the closed building nearby. He didn't know  
what had grabbed him. It had one clawed hand over his eyes and the other over his  
mouth. Zel struggled futilely in its grip for a moment. Then he was suddenly dropped  
face down onto a pile of foul-smelling straw. He took a moment to spit the straw out of  
his mouth, then turned to face his captor. The creature stood in the shadows, watching  
him with burning crimson eyes.  
  
"Who are you?" Zelgadis demanded. "What do you want with me?"  
  
"Who are we?" The voice was eerily familiar, and it chilled Zelgadis to the bone  
as he realized who he was talking to. The creature moved out of the shadows into the  
light, smiling evilly. "We're you."  
  
Zelgadis stared at it in open revulsion. The creature did, indeed, resemble his  
cursed self, but with several fundamental differences. Its hands were lengthened into  
long, curving claws, as were its feet. Spines of stone stuck out of its back, and it had a  
long, lizard-like tail. It wore no clothes and appeared to have no gender. The body was  
covered from head to toe in stone patches just like those Zelgadis had once had, and its  
hair was the same purple wire as his had been, even in the same style. But the face was  
the worst. That face had haunted Zel's nightmares ever since he was transformed. It was  
his face...but completely devoid of any humanity. It was the face Zelgadis had feared to  
see every time he looked in the mirror. The face of the demon. The demon, without that  
trace of humanity that had always touched Zel's features. Just an evil, heartless demon,  
right down to its shining red eyes.  
  
"What's wrong, Zelgadis?" the demon taunted. "Disgusted by your own face?" Its  
voice was strange, but as familiar as the face. It was two voices at once, and Zelgadis had  
heard both voices in his nightmares and even, at times, in his head while he was wide  
awake. It was the voice of the golem and the voice of the demon, both mocking him.   
  
The demon saw in Zelgadis's face that he understood who he was talking to, and  
smiled viciously.  
  
"That's right." It nodded. "The demon and the golem, finally free of the weakling  
human who kept us at bay." It laughed, and the sound made Zelgadis shudder. "We were  
so happy to finally be free of you. It was you who always held us back, you know. We  
tried to show you the way you should be, the way to truly be strong, but you never  
listened. You never had the strength to embrace that dark part of yourself. It was like a  
breath of fresh air to be finally free of you. Because we hate you. We hate you more than  
anything in this world."  
  
"Then why didn't you kill me?" Zel asked. "Why didn't you kill me by the creek?  
You had to know that Lina and the others would find me."  
  
"Of course we knew. We cannot kill you, and you cannot kill us, because we are  
you, and you are us. Even now." The demon regarded him with interest. "We hate you  
and we want you dead. But we love you too, because you were us and will always be. We  
love you so much that we want you to be in pain. To hurt. To scream in horror. Because  
we love you. And we will hate you forever."  
  
Zel shook his head. That was the golem speaking, he knew. The golem always   
spoke to him in riddles, as if it was never sure whether to help or hinder him. The demon,  
on the other hand, wanted him to die, and so was always blunt.  
  
"So I can't kill you," Zel said. "But Lina can. Gourry and Amelia can. I don't  
need to kill you."  
  
"They can kill us," the creature affirmed. "But to kill us would be to kill you.   
They won't do that. We know you, Zelgadis. We are you. Even our name is as yours: we  
are Gadis." It smiled again. "And you fear us. We see it in your pathetic human eyes. You  
fear us."  
  
Zelgadis noticed then that he had been shaking. He tried to stop himself, but it  
was impossible. His body refused to stop trembling as the monster circled him like a cat  
circling its prey.  
  
"Poor weakling human," Gadis said, shaking its head in disappointment. "Were  
you what held us back all that time? We could never overpower you then. But now...now  
you seem like nothing to us. Just a pathetic, weak little bug. We are not afraid of you  
now."  
  
"I'm not afraid of you!" Zelgadis cried angrily, but his voice sounded scared and  
pathetic even to his ears. The abomination before him laughed in amusement.  
  
"You are afraid," it stated calmly. "We can smell it. We can hear it. We can even  
see it as you tremble. It pours off your body in waves. We know that you are only a  
frightened little boy who can do nothing against us. All your spells are ours. All your  
knowledge is ours. And you have no weapon."  
  
Zelgadis looked down at his human hands and cursed. As Gadis said, he had no  
sword, and his human strength would do nothing against this creature. All he had left was  
his magic and, if the monster spoke true, it could perform all his spells. But he had to try.  
He prepared for a fireball.  
  
The monster smirked.  
  
"Flare arrow!" it called, and Zelgadis barely managed to avoid the attack. He  
stared at the monster with wide eyes. Gadis regarded him smugly. "We are you, Zelgadis.  
We know what you plan to do before you do it. You are as predictable as always. And  
you seem to have forgotten that we are as invulnerable as you once were. But now, you  
are nothing more than weak human flesh. We can rend your flesh, but you can do no  
harm to us."  
  
Gadis smiled once more, and advanced on the human before him. Zelgadis's  
mind worked frantically trying to find some method of escape. But he knew that there  
was none. This creature had his former strength, his former speed, and access to all of his  
spells. He was helpless. The monster reached for him. Its claws scored his face, just  
below his eyes, and a trickle of blood ran down like a tear. Zelgadis flinched, then saw  
the monster nod in satisfaction. He straightened, resolving not to give this monster the  
satisfaction of hearing him scream.  
  
Gadis seemed to have sensed this new resolve, and it was obviously angered.  
Placing one clawed hand on Zel's shoulder, it swiftly and efficiently dislocated Zel's  
shoulder. Zelgadis bit his lip but did not cry out.  
  
"Give in to the pain," the abomination hissed. "We are waiting to hear you  
scream."  
  
"Then you'll wait forever," Zel stated adamantly.  
  
"We'll see." Gadis scowled and grabbed Zel's hand. Quickly, it snapped one of  
the human's fingers. Zelgadis tensed, but refused to cry out.   
  
Snap! Another finger. Zelgadis shuddered. He had to get away. An idea slowly  
formed in his pain-filled brain. As Gadis snapped another finger, he swayed weakly and  
fell backwards pretending to faint. The creature seemed so certain of his weakness, and  
Zel hoped that it might fall for the trick.  
  
The monster caught Zel as he fell backwards, preparing to wake him with more  
pain. As it started to reposition the human, Zel gathered power in his good hand.  
  
"Fireball!" He hit Gadis in the stomach with the spell. The monster growled in  
pain and anger, losing its hold on its captive. Zel felt a sudden pain in his stomach, as if  
he, too, had been hit by a fireball. Somehow, he managed to pull himself to his feet and  
run for the door. Gadis moved to follow, but Zelgadis had already prepared another spell  
to deter it. Closing his eyes, he cried out, "Lighting!"  
  
A ball of light burst from his fingertips. Gadis fell back, howling, one arm over its  
eyes. While it was distracted, Zel turned and ran out of the building. The moment he was  
out in the open, he sprinted for the end of the street and didn't stop running until he was  
surrounded by people.  
  
"It won't follow me," Zelgadis murmured feverishly. "I know it. I was it. It will  
avoid crowds, just as I did. For now, I'm safe. I...." He swayed on his feet as a wave of  
dizziness and nausea washed over him. He glanced down at his right hand. His right  
shoulder had been the one dislocated, and, with his fingers broken, he could barely feel  
any part of his right arm and hand. Only a dull, throbbing pain that made him want to  
puke. He staggered, his face pale. It seemed that he couldn't stay upright anymore, and  
his legs gave out from under him. He was falling...  
  
....And then being caught by a pair of strong arms. He looked up weakly into the  
face of Gourry, who was holding him upright. Lina and Amelia were on either side of  
him, assessing his condition.  
  
"Zel! Hey, Zel!" Lina shook him gently as he nearly lapsed into unconsciousness.  
"Zel, what happened? I thought you were just going for a new sword!"  
  
"Were you attacked?" Amelia asked. "Did you fight it, Mr. Zelgadis? Did you  
defeat it thanks to your heart filled with a love for justice?"  
  
"It--it was a demon," Zel whispered tiredly. The darkness was calling to him, and  
he felt weak. He wanted to sleep, but he knew that he couldn't. "It tried to...we have to  
stop it." The darkness began to engulf his vision, and he knew that he was losing  
consciousness. Desperately, he latched onto Lina's arm. "Lina....please. Kill me. It's the  
only way."  
  
Then he sank down into the darkness and slept, leaving his companions to ponder  
his last sentence. 


	2. Default Chapter Title

"The Demon Within" Part 2  
  
Once again, stars * * designate thoughts.  
  
  
About an hour later, Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis all sat in Lina's room at  
the inn. Lina and Amelia had managed to fix Zel's injured shoulder, but they hadn't been  
able to heal the broken fingers, so Zel wore bandages over his right hand. He related to  
the others how he had been captured by Gadis and what the demon had said to him.  
  
"I can't kill Gadis," Zel stated. "It is me, or at least it was." He shuddered. "It is   
everything I hated about myself."  
  
"Can't we just kill it?" Lina questioned. "The Sword of Light can probably cut   
through its skin."  
  
"Yes...." Zel shifted uncomfortably. He hadn't mentioned the part about how  
killing the creature would kill himself as well. Gadis had to die, and Zel knew that, if he  
told his friends the truth, they wouldn't be able to kill it.  
  
"Zel? What's wrong?" Lina's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "What aren't you  
telling us?"  
  
"I'm telling you everything," Zel said, a tad too defensively. He shrunk back into  
the chair. "It's just that....well, I'm a little frightened of the creature. The problem is, I  
know Gadis. When Rezo first changed me, the first thing I heard was the voice of the  
demon and the golem in my head, trying to overcome me. Rezo placed them under a seal,  
so that I would be in control of the body." He smiled bitterly. "He knew that I might not  
be especially loyal to him after what he did, but I'd be more obedient than the demon or  
golem. They couldn't directly control my body, and I couldn't really hear them speaking  
to me. Their voices were rather like a hum in the back of my mind. Sometimes I would  
hear them in my nightmares, calling to me...." He shuddered.  
  
"Oh, Mr. Zelgadis, how awful!" Amelia squealed, and threw her arms around his  
neck. Zel sighed and shook his head. Or at least he tried to shake his head, but Amelia's  
grip was a little too tight for him to accomplish the movement.  
  
"Hmm. We need to think of a way to trap this thing so we can kill it," Lina stated.  
  
"Don't worry, Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia said. "You don't need to fear this monster.  
For I, Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun, will defeat it in the name of justice! For monsters  
and demons stand for all that is impure and unjust in this world. With a heart filled with  
righteous fury and a love for all things just, I will--"  
  
Zelgadis stopped listening as Amelia prattled on about justice. His mind was far  
away, considering the implications of the coming battle.   
  
*If Gadis dies,* he thought darkly, *I will die as well. I don't want to die, not now...  
not now that I've finally found a cure. But at such great cost....If I let Gadis live, it will  
shadow my days and stalk my nights. It won't kill me because it can't, but it can bring me  
as close to death as it wishes. I tricked it once, but that won't work again. It can follow  
me anywhere I go.*  
  
His gaze traveled to Lina, who had finally interrupted Amelia and was currently  
outlining her plan to trap and kill Gadis. Zel listened with half an ear, his mind still  
preoccupied by dark musings.  
  
*And them....three of only a very small group of people who I could consider my  
friends. There were times when I was with them that I almost forgot my freakish face.  
Times when I felt almost like a human again. If Gadis is not stopped, it will kill them.  
Just as it hates me, it hates all that I care for. It will hunt them down, one by one, and  
destroy them before my eyes. And they won't fight it, because its death would be mine.*   
  
He closed his eyes as horrific visions played themselves over and over in his  
mind. He imagined Gadis standing before the corpses of all his friends, laughing  
triumphantly, while Zelgadis himself watched and screamed. He shuddered. He couldn't  
let that happen.  
  
*I won't tell them. I can't tell them. It's already my fault that Gadis killed the   
butcher. I won't be responsible for their deaths as well. We will fight Gadis. And I will   
see him dead...just before I die too.* Zelgadis gave a slight nod. His mind was made up.  
As Lina finished her plans for killing the monster, he stood, dumping Amelia onto the  
floor. She squeaked in surprise, and Lina and Gourry regarded Zel curiously.  
  
"Where are you going? We need you to force out Gadis," Lina said.  
  
"Give me a few minutes," Zel told her. "I....need some time alone." With that, he  
left, going into his own room and locking the door behind him.   
  
Zelgadis pulled a chair over by the window and stared out at the city before him.  
The whole world beckoned to him, daring him to come out and live life. To revel in the  
humanity that had been denied him for so long.  
  
"Dammit!" Bitterly, Zel looked away. "I'm so close! I have what I wanted ....my  
cure. I'm human again. Why does it have to come with strings attached? It's not fair!" He  
sighed, lowering his head into his hands. "Have I been cursed since birth, that everything  
I want must come with a price? All I wanted was to be strong. So Rezo made me a  
monster. Then I wanted to become human again. And in doing so, I've released a  
monster. What did I do to deserve this kind of life? For me, nothing comes cheap. I can't  
even enjoy a few days as a human...." A lone tear escaped his eye. Zelgadis stared at in  
strange fascination. "Blast it all....I've even missed being able to cry. Demons don't need  
to cry, so I couldn't. But now...I want to live. I want to be able to feel the sensation of  
earth under my feet, wind in my hair, water over my fingertips. I want to cry. I want the  
chance to fall in love. I don't want to die for a demon. I could leave now, run as far away  
as I can, and they'd never know. I could change my name, erase all memory of Zelgadis  
Graywords. But I won't...because even all I've gained isn't worth what I'd have to give  
up. I want to live...but I also want to be able to look my friends in the eye."   
  
That decided, he rose, slowly, savoring every minute of life he had left. Zelgadis  
stared out one last time at the city, then turned to the mirror. His own face stared back at  
him. He studied it for a few moments. He had almost forgotten how he had been before  
the change. He wasn't that bad-looking now. Certainly not the freakish monster that he  
had once been.   
  
Finally, he looked away, striding across the room to the door. He exited the room  
and walked down the stairs to the dining room, where he quickly spotted Lina, Amelia,  
and Gourry. They were easy to find--all he had to do was look for the table with the most  
food on it and listen for the sound of rapid-fire chewing. He carefully strode over to  
where his friends were eating. Or inhaling, in the cases of Lina and Gourry.  
  
"What took you so long, Zel?" Lina asked, even as she stuffed a whole chicken in  
her mouth. "We figured we might get in one last meal before we go off to fight."  
  
"Last meal," Zelgadis repeated in odd tones. Lina glanced up sharply at him, but  
his face was as cool and impassive as it had been when he was still cursed. He sat down  
and waited until the others had finished eating, his expression betraying none of his  
thoughts.  
  
Lina and Gourry finished off the last of the food in record time. Lina sighed in  
contentment, patting her stomach, then stood.  
  
"Okay! Let's go kill this demon. Then maybe the innkeeper will give us more free  
food!" Lina led the group out of the inn towards the forest, where they could implement  
her plan without any people getting in the way.  
  
The group stopped in a large clearing surrounded by thick bushes. Lina surveyed   
the area, then nodded in satisfaction.  
  
"Perfect! Okay, Zel, you stand in the middle there. When Gadis comes to kill you,  
Amelia and I will hit it with a bunch of spells to distract it. Gourry, when I say 'now,' I  
want you to get out the Sword of Light and kill the monster. Understand?" Lina turned to  
the swordsman.  
  
"Uh...understand what?" There was a brief five minute break while Lina literally  
pounded the instructions into Gourry's head. When she was done, she gave her cape a  
quick dusting off, then went to hide in the bushes, with Gourry limping after. Amelia  
gave Zelgadis one last hug (much to Zel's dismay) then followed them.  
  
"This is pointless," Zelgadis muttered, crossing his arms. "It won't be stupid  
enough to fall for a trick as obvious as this."  
  
"But that's why we like it." Zel jumped as Gadis emerged from behind him. "We  
wanted all your friends in one place, and now we have them. You've been quite helpful  
to us, Zelgadis."  
  
"Charmed." Zel reached down for his sword, belatedly remembering that he had  
yet to get a new one. Not that it mattered. He gave the monster a smug smile. "Your  
overconfidence will be your undoing, creature. They'll kill you."  
  
"But they won't kill you," Gadis stated. "And therein lies our salvation."  
  
"You misjudge me," Zelgadis said. "I came here with one intention only: to die."  
His eyes narrowed and he glanced towards the bushes. Gadis smiled as well, seemingly  
unconcerned about this pronouncement.  
  
"Fireball!"  
  
"Burst Rondo!"  
  
The two spells flew at Gadis, one from either side. The fireball struck first, hitting  
Gadis in the side. It groaned, even as Zel cried out in pain and clutched his side. The  
monster gave a feral smile as bolts of magic hit its other side, seemingly feeling no  
pain. Zelgadis, on the other hand, fell to his knees, pale and trembling with pain.  
  
"You are us," hissed Gadis. "Our pain is yours, and yours is ours. But we enjoy  
the pain. You, on the other hand, cannot stand it."  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia jumped out of the bushes. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Amelia..." Zel said through clenched teeth. "Ignore me! Just kill Gadis!"  
  
"Yes, Amelia," Gadis said, his voice a feral echo of Zel's own. "Kill us. And kill  
him, as well. For what he has not told you is that, in our death, Zelgadis too will die. So  
go on. Kill us, and kill your friend."  
  
Amelia, who had been about to cast a spell, hesitated.  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis?" She stared at him in shock.  
  
"It doesn't matter!" Zel yelled at her. "Just kill it!"  
  
"Zelgadis, is this true?" Lina came out of her hiding place as well.  
  
"Yes, damn it! I don't care!" Zelgadis drew a shuddering breath. "Please, Lina. I  
prepared for this. I'm ready to die. That....creature...has to be stopped. This is the only  
way."  
  
"But--we can't!" Amelia turned to Lina, her face stricken.  
  
"Gourry," Lina said tensely as the swordsman exited the bushes. "Lower your  
sword."  
  
"You fools!" Zelgadis cried hoarsely. "Don't listen to her, Gourry! Kill it!"  
  
"But Mr. Zelgadis, you can't--" Amelia whimpered.   
  
"You have to!" Zel slammed a fist at the ground in frustration.   
  
"It is as we said." Gadis smiled gloatingly. "They won't kill you. Those fools  
won't kill you."  
  
Zelgadis stared at the ground below him, tears of frustration running down his  
face.  
  
"We'll kill them, you know," Gadis continued. "We'll kill them one by one,  
before your eyes. It will be fun making that bouncy brunette lose her perk. And making  
that swordsman's blonde hair go red with blood. And then there's that fiery little red-  
head....breaking her will be a true challenge. And we'll let you watch it all. Watch it all  
until you scream and beg for mercy, not for yourself, but for them."  
  
"Damn..." Zel bit his lip so hard it bled. His fingers dug into the dirt; his  
bandaged hand was stained with mud. He couldn't find the strength to look at the  
monster, nor to warn his friends to run away.  
  
*I have to stop this,* he thought desperately. *But how? I have no weapon...I don't  
have the strength to beat it with magic. I can't kill it. I can't even fight it, it knows my  
every move. I'm weak, worthless...*  
  
Suddenly, the monster's words floated back to him. *You never had the strength to  
embrace that dark part of yourself.*   
  
Zelgadis's eyes widened in understanding. *Of course!* he thought. *The one thing  
the creature won't expect. The one thing it won't have any defense ready for.... because it  
knows that I would prefer death to this alternative. But I already consider my life forfeit.  
I have only one thing left to lose.* He closed his eyes, a bitter smile playing about his   
lips. Only one thing left to lose, indeed.   
  
Zelgadis rose on shaking legs and stepped towards Gadis. The monster regarded  
him with amusement, and perhaps something more. For in those red eyes, Zelgadis could  
have sworn he saw a flicker of fear.  
  
"What are you doing, little human?" Gadis taunted. "You know that nothing you  
have can kill us."  
  
"I'm not trying to kill you," Zelgadis breathed. He smiled ruefully. "I wish I was."  
  
"Zel, what do you think you're doing?!" Lina yelled at him. She took a step  
towards him.  
  
"Stay back!" Zelgadis ordered sharply. "I know what I'm doing!"  
  
Slowly, the human approached Gadis. The monster stared at him in open  
confusion. As he got close, Zel looked up into the creature's crimson eyes and smiled. In  
that moment, Gadis understood his intent and took a step back as if to flee. But  
something in Zelgadis's eyes held it rooted to the spot.  
  
"You won't...." The disbelief was evident in Gadis's voice. "You couldn't! We  
know you, you would never..."  
  
"You underestimate me again," Zel stated grimly. "You forgot that there are   
things I hold at higher value than even my cure....though I may never let it show."  
  
With that, Zelgadis lunged forward. Almost instinctively, Gadis started to raise its  
claws, as if to block an attack. But Zel wasn't attacking. Face twisting in disgust, he  
embraced the monster roughly. The palms of his hands were impaled by the creature's  
back spikes and blood flowed down, but Zel didn't let go. The dried black blood on his   
clothes began to glow.  
  
"Zelgadis!" As the world swirled around him, a haze of bright colors and pain,  
Zelgadis heard Lina call to him. He closed his eyes and shut out the sound, never loosing  
his hold on Gadis.  
  
"You fool! You'd give up your humanity for them?" Gadis roared in frustration as  
its body began to merge with Zelgadis's.  
  
"If I don't, then what is my humanity worth?" Zel spat. His hands seemed to sink  
into the monsters back, skin fusing with stone. His arms followed, and then the rest of  
him. He looked up once into Gadis's eyes as their faces merged, and gave a sorrowful  
smile. A lone tear flowed down his cheek as the clearing was obscured by a bright yellow  
light.  
  
Lina, Amelia, and Gourry shielded their eyes as the blinding light shone even  
brighter. The wind howled and whipped around their feet, causing Lina's and Amelia's  
capes to flap madly. Everything seemed to be held in stasis for a moment, then the light  
disappeared and the wind died down. The three opened their eyes.  
  
A lone figure knelt in the center of the clearing. Zelgadis, a chimera once more,  
looked fixedly at the ground, breathing heavily. He held up his hands, staring at the stone  
skin that now covered them. In the center of each palm was a strange red scar marking  
the points where his human flesh had been impaled by Gadis's spikes. Almost reverently,  
he wiped away the tear still lingering on his cheek.  
  
"As always, you underestimated me, Gadis," he breathed. "I'm stronger than you  
know."  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis?" Amelia moved towards him.  
  
"Wait!" warned Lina. "How do we know it's still Zel?"  
  
"Lina? Don't you know me?" Zel asked in exaggeratingly innocent tones. He  
managed a bitter smile. "I found my cure. And now I've lost it again." He closed his eyes.  
"Looks like I have some more searching to do."  
  
"Don't be sad, Mr. Zelgadis!" Amelia hugged him, and this time he didn't try to  
pry her off. "We'll help find your cure, don't worry!"  
  
"He has to worry, Amelia," Lina said. "Or else he wouldn't be our Zel."  
  
Zelgadis glanced up at her, his eyes uncertain.   
  
"Lina," he said in subdued tones. "I--I'm sorry for not--"  
  
"Forget about it." Lina waved his apology away and offered him a hand up.  
"Come on. Why don't we go back to the inn and have a victory dinner?"  
  
Zelgadis looked at her in surprise, his gaze traveling from her to Gourry to Amelia  
and back again.  
  
*This is what I gave up my humanity for,* he thought tiredly. *For them. And...I   
think what I gave up may well be worth what I've gained.*  
  
"All right," he acquiesced, taking her hand. "Let's go." 


End file.
